Question: I want to send this to my husband:
Dear Sis, remember at our Christmas Party the illustration that behind every sin is a demon? For us, behind the need for control is the demonic spirit of Jezebel wanting to be in control which is part of curse for the woman resulting after the fall.
“To the woman [God] said, “……Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”” Gen 3:16b NIV
The context of the word “desire” is the same as in this verse which is like a competition for who is in control:
“…But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it [sin] DESIRES to have you, but you must rule over it.”” Gen 4:7b NIV
When something consumes us that we can’t say no to it, it is controlling/ enslaving us. Let’s pray not to be controlled by the Jezebel demon of control.
The common temptation for the hurting wife is the need to know, to be informed, to be respected.
Receiving information of your husband’s whereabouts does not guarantee his faithfulness to you.
In your husband’s eyes, not even God requires him to report to Him his whereabouts (because at his season of rebellion, your husband is not understanding that transparency is for his own sake, not God’s) so for you to remind him of reporting to you his whereabouts will come across to him as you are appointing yourself as the authority above him, like in the place higher than God.
Requesting (moreso demanding) this from him will provoke whatever demons are behind him, if there are (if for example there is manifestation of unfaithfulness, rebellion, deception, lying, pride, despise, rejection, sins of the tongue, etc, behind each of those sins is a demon). You cannot win flesh to flesh. “[Victory comes] Not by might nor power but by the Spirit of God.”
The goal should be husband being accountable to God (which will eventually mean husband being accountable to wife) but if wife’s primary goal is husband be accountable to her, besides being Jezebel demon-backed, this will result in endless arguments or mere temporary peace when he complies temporarily until he can’t stand it. (This is sometimes the dynamic that happens when Wife one day gets shocked, “ I thought everything was okay but Husband was raging and says he has been unhappy for so long.”)
Hindi napapamahal sa husband ang wife na controlling. Let God control your husband.
Hindi rin Christlike ang controlling. So the work of God to draw your husband to Christ will be hindered if you demand/ nag/ control/ investigate/ interrogate. You will push your husband away from you, not draw him towards you as his refuge, haven, someone he can rest in because in your presence he is the uncontested leader.
Do not give your husband or others ammunition to accuse you of being “controlling/ nagger/ quarrelsome/ despicable/ annoying/ stubborn/ displeasing/ nakakarindi.” Step into the role of the one trusting God. You are Daughter of The King. Unlimitedly, unconditionally, faithfully loved and cherished by your Heavenly Husband (Isa 54:5; Christlike with a stillness, peace, joy that overflow from your thriving relationship with Christ, consistently seeking His word/ counsel/ love words/ truth words for you. God’s wisdom is personified as a woman calling out to you to seek and take her and live her. (Please review Proverbs 1:20-33)
Let your Christlikeness be your edge. Because God wants you to have the victory. If you refuse to be Christlike and the other person is the one who will outwardly manifest (fake because someone living a life of sin is farthest from being like Christ) the joyful, rested and still, loving, kind behaviour, affirmer of any positive thing he does, super mali ito.
It is God’s job (not wife’s) to convict and transform, to teach (discipline) and to train.
The information that you need is not your husband’s whereabouts but the truths in God’s Word about God’s character that He is in control, in charge, sitting on the throne, hates sin, will go against those who are His enemies, He does not want to put asunder the marriage He put together, Vengeance is His and the many many qualities that make Him trustworthy; who He is to you as your Husband who keeps revealing Himself to you, longing for you, wanting to be intimate with you, keeps talking to you.
Love triangle ito, parang Sharon Cuneta song from God to you:
“Mahal kita, mahal mo sya (husband), mahal nya ay …”
Whereas Husband Hates when asked about where he is, what he’s doing, God LONGS and LOVES to inform you of who He is, where He is and everything about Him.
When you step into Consistent Christlikeness, watch how God will transform you and your situation. Obedience brings blessings. Disobedience brings curses. (Deuteronomy 28).
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”” John 8:32 NIV
When we (Kasama ako) refuse to listen to God, He can say, “Kung ayaw mo talaga makinig kung saan Kita dinadala, have it your way.”
““But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.” Psalms 81:11-12 NIV
Dear Sister,
May the Lord continue to minister to you and assure you of His steadfast love. He is right there beside you to journey with you, above you to protect you, inside you to guide you. Be encouraged, you are His work-in-progress on your way to being His masterpiece. Thank you for asking authentic questions. You are much loved.
“… He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6b NIV
Hindi ka nag-iisa. ❤️❤️❤️
You are victorious already in the heavenly realm. Holy Spirit is empowering you to walk in step with Him. Hawak-kamay ‘di ka Nya iiwan sa paglakbay 🙏🙏🙏
This Is what I needed to hear 2 years ago. It is true that the desire to be informed burned inside me. And knowing a lot devastated me. I so long wanted to be counseled but it seems God has other plans for me because I was stubborn and had a hardened heart. Kahit now ko lang nalalaman mga bagay na sana noon ko nalaman, knowing God, even if I had known I would probably not have understood. His timing is always right, so knowing it before would not have helped change me to who I am now. He knows me better than I know myself.
Thank you for your sharing, It gives me confirmation and gives words to emotions I did not recognize before.
Dear Sis praise God for His encouragement for all of us. May He continue to heal you from the hurts of the past; may He give you just the exact measure of forgetfulness of the traumatic memories to be able to move forward with joy in Him. May He continue to reveal to you the good He intended to cause using the difficult circumstances you faced. With God, nothing is wasted because in all things He works for the good of those who love Him. Let’s keep sharing with and praying for one another!
The desire to interrogate/investigate and to know the whereabouts is really consuming. This is my struggle right now and I am so thankful to my sister-in-law for telling me about this forum. Thank you for the guidance. It really helps a lot especially I am confused and hurting.
Praise God that the scriptures here minister to you, Rigel. As you seek shelter under God’s wings and feel His comfort, assurance, power, love, and everything that you have been looking for in a human being, may you truly taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the woman who takes refuge in Him. Praying for your resounding victory over your circumstances and unshakeable joy in Christ for His name’s sake amen