L: Is praying enough, assuming that their good works are not appreciated by the husband?
Kase lalo na yun “Be still”, it is always quoted sa akin with regards to fighting for their marriages. I’m concerned that the husband will get the impression that the wife has given up already and the wife is confusing resignation with surrendering to the Lord.
A: If a wife is serious with the Lord, I think she will fast, travail in prayer, and when she is abiding in The Vine, walking with Him, asking for His wisdom, He will make it clear to her what direction to take. Prayer is not just supplication but aggressive reading of word.
Prayer is two ways: talking to God (Phil 4:6-7) AND listening / applying what God is teaching (2Tim 3:16-17). We need both.
“Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Underscore the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:3-5 NIV
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.”
Psalms 32:8-9 NIV
“Be still” is often quoted with regards to fighting for their marriages as doing nothing “pinapasa-Diyos ko na lang.”
“Be still” is especially good if wife keeps grumbling complaining, fighting quarrelling, filing case, manipulating situation, controlling the husband, unleashing rage.
Compare this to 1Thess 5:16-18
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
The Holy Spirit fruit will flow. Consistent Christlikeness all by Gods grace, Christ in you, aroma of Christ, letter of Christ, ambassador of Christ through dying to self Gal 2:20
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20 NIV
Husband’s self-condemnation and unworthiness due to his sin may make him comfortable where he feels he is wanted. If he entertained idea of going back to wife, the barrier to returning is greater if he thinks wife has no intention to reconcile because to begin with, the reason he ends up with affair may be his own sense of worthlessness and looking for affirmation in the wrong places.
His own feelings of worthlessness doesn’t like rejection and if the last thing he remembers from wife is her seething rage, there is hardly any motivation to give up the other woman’s adoration for the “perceived sure rejection condemnation to hell” by angry wife.
If the wife chooses passive waiting in the midst of a raging warfare, both wife and husband do not gain. Neither do the children.