How to Respond to “Hiwalay Na Ba Kayo?”

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Question: Hello, paano po kayo magreact or magrespond sa mga tao na biglang magtatanong na, “Hiwalay na ba kayo“? (How to respond to people who suddenly ask, “Are you already separated?”)

Always pray first before you respond.; ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His wisdom for the right words to speak. We do not owe an explanation to everyone but this could be an opportunity from the Lord for Him to shine and be glorified. Lying is out of the question but you are not obliged by God to proclaim every detail to everyone.

Before anyone gets to ask you, discuss your concerns with the Lord and then find a biblical counselor to prayerfully process your feelings. There are areas you need to process like forgiveness, understanding God’s promise in
Romans 12 AMP Bless those who persecute you [who cause you harm or hardship]; bless and do not curse [them]... 17 Never repay anyone evil for evil. Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath [and His judicial righteousness]; for it is written [in Scripture], “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome and conquered by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Pray for discernment if the enemy is exploiting your pain and laying a trap for you so that you can release words that you will regret speaking.

When you are feeling vulnerable and doubt that you will be able to rein in your tongue, you can keep words to a bare minimum while declaring your faith that God is at work.

Some considerations to think about:

In Jesus you are victorious!

Romans 8:37 AMP Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through Him who loved us [so much that He died for us].

But you need to be aligned with the Spirit of God to obtain that victory.

Zech 4:6 NCV Then he told me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘You will not succeed by your own strength or by your own power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord All-Powerful.

Once a word is released, it takes a life of its own and cannot be taken back. Once the forest has been set on fire by a small spark, can that fire be doused in a snap?

James 3:5b NIV Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small sparkThe tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Anything you say can and will be held against you.

What we speak of our husbands can impact how others see him. When the Lord has finished moving in the life of your husband and your marriage is restored, the people you have spoken to about your husband may take a long time to forgive him or be restored to him.

A wife is bound to bring good to her husband as long as she lives.

Prov 31:12 NIV She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

It is better to speak of what the Lord is doing (to be faithful to His word) rather than what Satan is doing (to steal, kill and destroy – John 10:10) because the words we speak bring life or death.

Prov 18:21 GNT What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

A wife is called to respect her husband in his presence or absence in all seasons.

1 Peter 3:1 AMP  In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation—love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God].

Pray for a way to speak the truth without maligning your husband.

Proverbs 17:9 AMP He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love,
But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.

May this bless you:

Suggestion to pray about:

“In the eyes of God, we are married and He is at work!”

“Marriage is a work in progress.”

Malachi 2:16

“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

Matthew 19:6

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”

1 Peter 3:15

But in your hearts set Christ apart [as holy—acknowledging Him, giving Him first place in your lives] as Lord. Always be ready to give a [logical] defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope and confident assurance [elicited by faith] that is within you, yet [do it] with gentleness and respect.

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