Q: I want to leave the country thinking I can heal from what my husband did. We are still together, he goes home to me everyday but goes to the other woman’s house to visit his kid with her everyday. It’s still hurting me and sometimes I think I cannot bear it anymore to the point I’m asking him to just be with them because that was his plan before. Now he wants to stay here at home; he wants me to pray for him but he still goes to the “other family” everyday, whenever I try to speak up about it, we would end up fighting. It’s hard and I don’t know what would God want me to do in this situation.
Dear Sis God alone is our wisdom. Though sometimes at the heights of our crises, our feelings and own thoughts cloud our vision.
Let’s look to Gods word for His wisdom. Please ask Him for confirmation from the Lord. Here are some applicable portions of God speaking thru His Word:
“It is not good for man to be alone. “
Praise God for the miracle of transformation of your husband choosing to stay with you and asking you to pray for him. This is not always the case for the husband in adultery. Praise God and thank God for this.
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NIV
If you review Paul’s teachings on marriage, he advises do not separate yourself from your husband.
Indeed when he comes home to you , you can pray for him when he’s asleep or when he’s awake. Do not underestimate the power of prayer, fasting, being in the Word, obeying God step by step. Imagine you have your husband’s permission and request to pray for him.
Pray all the prayers in God’s word that are aligned with Him wanting the marriage bed undefiled, that a sinner repent, that there be no sexual immorality, that He does not anyone to perish but come to repentance and be saved, that He is Healer, that He can raise the dead [marriage], that He is the Restorer, Rebuilder, Rewarder; that He is your Husband (Isa 54:5) in this season of figurative widowhood.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15 NIV
If God commands you to not separate from your husband, who do you think is making you want to separate from your husband?
Satan is the one wanting you to go somewhere far para kainin nyang Buhay yung Asawa mo and your marriage.
Satan’s scheme is the same old one: make us doubt God’s word, make us doubt God’s character, and then make us disobey. Don’t take of the fruit, Sis. Stand firmly on Gods word.
Do you remember why David went on a backslide? He was not where he was supposed to be.
“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war…. But David remained in Jerusalem.”
2 Samuel 11:1 NIV
And do you know how David was used by God mightily the first time? It was because David remained faithful in the ordinary life God appointed for him— to be obedient in the little things such as delivering cheese and bread to the officers and his brothers even if it was humbling.
“Take along these ten cheeses to the commander of their unit. See how your brothers are and bring back some assurance from them.”
1 Samuel 17:18 NIV
Going away from where God stationed you takes you away from His perfect will. Remaining in your post even when inconvenient or with suffering, He is with you and wants you to experience in this physical life what is already done in the heavenly realm of you being More Than Conqueror.
In your suffering/ trials God is empowering you to be mature and complete, not lacking anything… to be the best version of you.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”
James 1:2-8 NIV
The place we need to go is Not away from our problem but where God is. And God is right there with you.
We are called to remain where God has placed us. Do not abandon your post. Be faithful even in the small things.
God has anointed and chosen you to be your husband’s wife.
“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 NIV
That anointing is for victory over a … crisis. “Crisis” in chinese character is same word as “opportunity.” Impossible situations aren’t the platform for God’s glory.
Stand firm in your covenant to
Christ. He is a party to your marriage.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.””
Mark 10:9 NIV
How many times does God tell us (different forms of) “do not fear.”
Victory is not by might nor power but by the Spirit of God (Zech 4:6)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, FORBEARANCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires [to go away from the problem geographically but not actually bec your prob could end up compounding if you abandon your post]. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
Galatians 5:22, 24-25 NIV
I continue to pray “He will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” Psalms 32:8 NIV
“People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.””
Isaiah 30:19-21 NIV
“The Lord is your shepherd, you lack nothing. He makes you lie down in green pastures, he leads you beside quiet waters, he refreshes your soul. He guides you along the right paths for his name’s sake. [for His glory He is guiding you]
Even though you walk through the darkest valley, you will fear no evil, for He are with you; His rod [of rebuke, chastening, or scourging as needed when you disobey] and His staff [of guiding through His Word], they comfort you. He prepares a table before you in the presence of your enemies. He anoints [for His purpose] your head with oil; your cup overflows. Surely His goodness and love will follow you all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalms 23:1-6 NIV
In Christ you can do all things
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:13 NIV
In Christ you are more than conqueror
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37 NIV
In Christ there is no condemnation
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” Romans 8:1 NIV
In Christ you are a new creation
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV