Every step of victory we achieve (like keeping silent when mocked, being humble when serving, praying for and loving people who cause hurt) enrages the enemy.
I learned that even if Satan knows he has lost the battle, he will not stop bothering a child of God for he does not want us to enjoy our victory in Christ. We can rebuke, bind, and cast out the enemy, but the enemy will be relentless. So long as we are affected and lose sight of Christ, the enemy gains ground.
That is why whenever I feel affected, FIRST, I make sure I am in a secure place to cry out to God. Cry out the anger and pain. SECOND, my cries are followed by declarations of who I am to God and what God has done for me. It is in these moments I would envision myself once again victorious.
Recently, I discovered my husband’s friend sent him a dirty video. At first, I wanted to message the friend to let him know what he did was disgusting but then, I got reminded that victory is not by might not power but by the Spirit of the Lord (Zech 4:6) and my action may even make things worse between hubby and me if I confront his friend.
I decided to pray for God to convict that friend; then I prayed for my husband that if he sees those videos, he would not commit sin, may the Lord bring to his mind the pain it can cause to his family, and most of all, may the Lord make those videos repulsive to him.
I also prayed that the discovery would not affect the way I relate with my husband.
I realised that information portals for me to uncover my husband’s sinful activities can be the enemy’s scheme/ trap to gain legal right to remain or return in my life. These evidences of wrong-doing lead to my pain and hurtful outbursts that widen the gap between hubby and me.
The discoveries of my husband’s sin against me hinder me from loving him fearlessly. All they do is hurt me more, tempt me to sin or be insecure of my value instead of being secure in my value in God, delay my obedience to God to love my husband with the overflowing love I receive from Him. The result of spying destroys me; therefore it must be from the enemy (John 10:10).
Spying on him makes me focus on his sin instead of the positive changes the Lord causes. If I am to see my husband from God’s perspective then I should intentionally see the good and not the bad as he is still in the process with God.
I myself needed a good deal of time when I went through my process with God and to this day I am still a work in progress. By faith, in God’s time, my husband will also arrive to the point where I am and beyond in his own relationship with God.
Prayer is more effective, whether or not I am hurting. I should pray for him often.
It was a struggle at first to let go but I had to decide to cut off spying portals totally.
I always remind myself that if it will not help me show love to hubby then it should be ignored, removed, eliminated because it is not from God, since God wants me to love hubby as an overflow of His love through me.