Dear Sister in Christ,
Do not lose hope.
I was in a similar situation this time last year and for the past almost ten years before that.
Instead of seeing God answer my prayers, things seemed to get worse.
I was also slipping into depression and was told to see a psychiatrist.
In all this darkness, as Sis Cecille Batungbakal said in the talk on Depression, you close your eyes but you hear [God] better.
God led us to prayer and fasting at CCF where we found prayer warriors who overcame similar situations and are now serving the Lord by ministering to couples like us.
Many times, I prayed to God to deliver me from the nightmare I was in.
Things did not change overnight. One of God’s plans was for us, me and my husband to attend Glorious Hope (17 Saturdays engagement at CCF Main for hurting people ) then after that , the Spiritual Warfare training also at CCF.
Only God can convince my husband to have the desire to go thru these ministries and seek God also. Hindi talaga natin kayang magbago on our own but God can when we ask in prayer.
There were fights, walk-outs, relapse, trips to the ER, in between fasting seasons. This made me pray like breathing which drew me closer to the Master.
Now, a year after, I wake up in the arms of a man transformed by the Creator.
Just yesterday, I heard laughter again from my children… slowly replacing the tense and explosive atmosphere in the house.
The process may be like the promised land journey but God will fullfill his promise, we just have to follow His leading.
If you can go to the prayer and fasting service in CCF, you might find encouragement there from people who have travelled this road.
Pray to attend Glorious Hope too which starts on May 2.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matt 6:33 ESV
I think the step before listening is seeking.
God usually speaks when we seek first. That’s why I think He really brings us to a low point so that we will look up [to Him] and seek Him with all our hearts.
Listening also means trying to discern God’s voice amidst the noise.
I heard voices of friends, doctors, counsellors, my children; it can be overwhelming and confusing when not everything is aligned with God’s own voice [in His word].
But when I lay it all at His feet and listen, His voice becomes clear .
I pray that we will continue to hope by seeking , listening, obeying, trusting ang waiting on the God who makes all things possible.
…. “and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Rom 5:5 NASB