I joined Praying Wife Forum last January 23, 2020 because of a marital issue I went through. Prior to this, I thought I was a prayerful person but I admit I did not read the bible. For me the bible is such a difficult book to read, hindi ko maintindihan.
I though it is just a book documenting what happened in the Christian world before and after Jesus. I told myself how can that apply to me eh it will make me “banal” (holy) if I follow that. I don’t think it’s possible.
Then Jesus called me ……. I went through marital problems. I went through depression. Jesus sent a messenger to me — my sister-in-law. At first, she was telling me, “your husband is not the enemy.”
WHAT?!!! He was the one who betrayed me… how can he not be the enemy?
Then I attended my first PWF session. I received Jesus that day and could not believe myself how I became so eager to read the bible everyday.
What is more amazing is that I now understand what the bible says!
Indeed my husband is not my enemy …. I know the enemy [the devil Ephesians 6:12] and I know his plans are to steal, kill and destroy; but so long as Jesus and His Word are with me, I will be victorious.
Through the PWF Bible study, I came to know who I am in the eyes of God … I am beautiful, loved, wonderfully and fearfully made. I have Jesus with me. If Jesus is for me, who can be against me?
I may not have money in the bank, a prestigious career, a nice house/car but I have something that no amount of riches can buy ….. I have inner peace which only JESUS can give.
I am still a work in progress but I claim that my name is already listed in the book in heaven!
Thank you Lord for the betrayal, the pain, the humiliation, the persecution, the rejection for by them you have called me back and I heard you. If I have to go through all of that again just to see your face then Your will be done.
I will follow You Lord, lead me!
Was there a particular verse which spoke to you on the first day you came to bible study?
John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
How did you understand the bible which you didn’t understand before?
Even ako, amazed din talaga. Before, pag sinabing “bible”…. yikes. I couldn’t understand. Parang hindi mag-aapply sa akin yan. Parang superholy ko na kung magagawa kong magbasa ng bible. When I attended PWF the first time, Sis Malu ministered to me. When I got home, I decided to read even just one verse.
I was surprised that as I started to read, it started to make sense like God was instructing me, inspiring me, motivating me. The bible is like a book of solutions. Lahat ng problema mo nandon, pati ang mga sagot nandon din. Suddenly, it was like God telling me, “Ito ang gawin mo, “R2.”
I’ve been waiting for answers na hindi ko na-realize andon na pala yung sagot. God was already answering me. Parang He was telling me, “‘R2’, this is what I was telling you all along.” Jesus is the answer pala.
I was so stubborn before; I used to keep just talking and talking to Him but this time, I was listening. I didn’t know that that’s how it works. That’s why I did not hear the Lord— I was just requesting, asking, talking… blah blah blah…but not listening nor obeying.
I still hurt everyday, I struggle but everytime may lumalabas, I would always think, ‘this is disobedience to the Lord.’ Now, I fear not obeying His Word…na susurpass Nya yung struggle ko. Laging pumapasok sa isip ko, “What would the Lord think of me?”… if I retaliate, pag gusto ko manumbat, iyak talaga ako.
I’m already in a situation wherein I’m secure with Him that kahit na andon yung bagyo in my life, alam ko nandyan Sya. “‘R2’ I got you covered. Relax ka lang. I got this.” Yan ang message ni Jesus sa akin.
What do you mean by “I fear not obeying Him?”
I want Him to be pleased with me. I don’t want to displease Him. He’s doing a lot, a lot, a lot for me that I do not deserve.
Is there a fear of punishment or consequence?
Consequence in a sense that I think if I will be disobedient, mas matagal ko mari-reach yung stable, steadfast relationship with God. It’s not fear of punishment because God is good. He will take care of me. It doesn’t mean all roses. I will go through trials and pain but I know that even so, He will guide me. I know even in the storm, He will give me peace. He is the only one who can give me inner peace. I’ve come to realize that what I have here in this world is just passing. I’m just passing through. The worldly things are not important. What’s important is what comes after this life as we know it.
How can your husband be not the enemy when he hurt you?
Ephesians 6:12 “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
Revelation 12:9 “The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.”
2 Corinthians 4:4 “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”
How can you thank the Lord for something painful and ugly?
I thank the Lord with all this pain because He gives me inner peace …. ironic, right? How can you have inner peace when you are in a painful and ugly situation? That is what the Lord gives me— calmness in the midst of the storm. Knowing that He is with me always calms, comforts, and secures me.
What difference do you see between the ‘R2’ Before (you were a prayerful person) and the ‘R2’ After (now that you are reading the Bible)?
Before, I was just blabbing my mouth in prayer …. one-way communication. Now, I learned that God speaks to me through the bible. God affirms His promise through the bible. If we are in a predicament, search it in the bible and I will assure you that you will also find the answers there. God knows all the problems we are going to face and He has prepared us long before through the bible.
My perspective of my situation changed. I understood why I have to go through all these. I understood that God has plans for me, that all this brokenness is not to put me in a difficult situation but to mold me and to equip me.
Now, how do you see the bible?
Now, I see the bible as the only reading material I read everyday. I see it as the book of truth. The book where you see all the answers to all our problems.
What are examples of learnings that you have been able to apply to your daily life?
I learned to forgive everyone for everything …. which is not of my own making but because of God’s grace.
Do you have a favorite verse?
Ang dami pero if only one: Psalm 46:10a He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”