Dear Ladies, if you are experiencing brokenness in marriage, I would like to encourage us not to focus on the sins of others. Instead, let this be a time for us to focus on our own sins that we may be led to repentance, humility and a contrite heart.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the heartbroken And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin).

Isaiah 57:15 For the high and exalted One He who inhabits eternity, Whose name is Holy says this, “I dwell on the high and holy place, But also with the contrite and humble in spirit In order to revive the spirit of the humble And to revive the heart of the contrite [overcome with sorrow for sin].

Let this brokenness be a time for us to reflect on how we have sinned and contributed to our marital problems. Perhaps, it could be a result of past sins we have committed (pre-marital sex, disobedience to parents, lying, non-submission, disrespect, selfishness, homosexuality, pornography or even an intimate relationship with the opposite sex).

When we focus on other people’s sins, it is like saying, “I am not like him.” The Bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23. There may be obvious sins committed by others but this doesn’t mean we are better than they are. In God’s eyes we are all sinners.

“For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14). Ask God for forgiveness and to cut any generational curse that may have been passed on to you or your husband by ancestors… which can pass on to your descendants unless cut thru the power of Jesus’s Christ.

Let this brokenness be a time for spiritual revival, a time to build a deeper relationship with the Lord. Let Jesus be your Husband and you His bride. Only then can we overcome our hurts. Only then can we experience His love and what it feels like to fall in love with Jesus. Ask God to reveal Himself more to you and let you experience intimacy with Him.

-Malu Tiongson-Ortiz

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